Death by Dad-Bod
We have a Mediocre Man Problem
You cannot begin to thrive in work and relationships if you attempt to thrive in your own personal wellbeing.
In Outlive by Dr. Peter Attia he shares “In the late 1970s, the average American male weighed 173 pounds. Now the average American man tips the scale at nearly 200 pounds. In the 1970s, a 200-pound mand would have been considered very overweight; today he is merely average.”
Average is just another word for mediocre.
The acceptance and tolerance of the dad bod is literally killing us.
But the issue goes deeper and wider than just our collective, increasing waistlines. It’s a conversation about what we tolerate. It’s a conversation about standards. It’s a conversation about being producers, great husbands, loving and engaged fathers, leaders and living useful lives.
It’s a conversation about being better.
The fact that a term like dad-bod exists frankly disgusts me. Not only is it literally killing us, but it’s robbing us of our manly essence. It’s robbing us of our identity.
And it’s no one’s fault but our own.
Mediocrity Is a Choice
The definition of mediocre is “of only ordinary or moderate quality, neither good nor bad, barely adequate.” Other words for mediocre include undistinguished, commonplace, pedestrian, everyday, run-of-the-mill.
Mediocrity is being the best of the worst and the worst of the best.
Do you see the commonality in all those words?
They all have an opposite. The opposite of mediocrity is excellence.
In fact, if you dig deeper, the Latin root word of mediocre is mediocris, or “in a middle state” or literally “at middle height,” equivalent to medi(us) “center, middle” + ocris “rugged mountain.”
This is good news. It means that you weren’t born mediocre, and you don’t have to stay mediocre. You descended to mediocrity, and with a little intention and attention, you can ascend away from it.
It’s taken me some time to realize this fact. And the ascension, while well underway, is not easy. Nor, have I perfected it.
But I’ve learned a few things along the journey. In fact, I believe I have stumbled onto a formula that, when leveraged, will accelerate your own ascent.
Nearly everything I share here stems from lessons learned from mentors. Part of my process of learning is distilling those lessons into my own words and my own meaning, hopefully to your benefit.
I first learned the path up the next mountain from Garret J. White at Wake Up Warrior. Garrett and his team were excellent mentors to me for over four and a half years, and he helped me first see, and later believe, that it was possible to have it all in body, being, balance, and business. If you’ve not heard of Wake Up Warrior, I encourage you to check it out. Garrett can be a bit spicy. He will inspire some and disturb others, but I can assure you he’s dedicated in totality to helping you find your divine beauty as a man.
About a year ago, I was introduced to the work of Brian Johnson at Heroic. Brian’s program takes a very different approach, and he intentionally appeals to all people, regardless of your gender.
Brian compresses the knowledge of hundreds of philosophers, researchers, psychologists, and the wisdom of historical leaders into actionable processes we can each use to get better every day.
Through Heroic, I learned about the work of Dr. Martin Seligman. Seligman is credited as being the father of positive psychology, and he’s the author of Flourish.
Flourish suggests that there are five components necessary for each of us to excel.
Positive emotions
Engagement
Relationships
Meaning
Achievement.
Brian Johnson condensed this into three areas — Energy, Work and Love.
These three areas serve as the foundation of any flourishing man.
However, through trial and error, I’ve come to realize that Energy is the accelerant.
So, the formula looks like this: (W+L)E.
Simple, not easy.
To maximize our outcomes in work (engagement, meaning, and achievement) and improve the quality of love (relationships, meaning, engagement, positive emotions), we most importantly must manage and improve our energy (positive emotions, engagement, meaning, achievement).
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Through these fireside talks, we will explore this. We will delve into the what, the how, and the why.
Hopefully, you will find value.
Hopefully, you will find here a path to accelerate your ascent up your next mountain.
And stop settling for a life so much less than what you were created to enjoy.