The Parable of the Talents

Over the last 24 months, I have witnessed a young man step into a new life as a man of faith. In nearly every measurable way, this has enriched his life and improved his holistic well-being.

Throughout this journey, he's found balance, optimism, and love. He was recently engaged to his girlfriend, whom he met in his Christian community, a community that welcomed him and mentored him on his journey.

It's been pretty cool to see. I'm proud of him, and I'm honored to bear witness to his progress into adulthood.

Recently, however, my wife and I had a conversation with this young man that raised a few concerns. I don't know if these concerns can be attributed to his faith or are instead the byproduct of not yet having a fully formed frontal lobe.

Regardless, there appears to be a nugget of wisdom in our conversations that we all should be reminded of.

Begin with a Vision

He and his fiancé were engaged in late December. He will graduate in May, and she will complete her graduation requirements next December.

They are anxious to begin their lives together and are planning a destination wedding in November as soon as her classes are concluded.

They have identified a location in Mexico where they want to have their ceremony, having spent some time there on one of their many trips together. Although they currently live in different states, much of their connected time has occurred during various travels.

Their enthusiasm is infectious.

Their planning leaves a little bit to be desired.

They have envisioned what that day will look like for them. They can tangibly describe who they want to be there in Mexico with them and how the ocean backdrop will appear in their photos.

They hope for something simple and significant.

We asked them for their budget to create and deliver this experience, and they were largely stumped.

They had not completed any research. They have a friend's vacation home they plan to use but have not spoken to the homeowner. They want to take their wedding party on a celebratory catamaran trip but have not investigated the per-person fees. They hadn't considered how people would get to Mexico or move from place to place once they arrived. They hadn't considered what wedding staples like flowers, food, and drink may cost, even at minimalist levels.

As these conversations evolved and we discussed some of these important considerations with them, you could see the overwhelm overtake them.

Reverse Engineer our Goals

While visiting with the young couple, he expressed that they could have the whole thing planned and pulled off in less than three months, so there was no reason for them to begin now.

Fortunately, with a concrete goal or vision of what they would like to experience, we had a chance to provide some needed mentoring.

"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable." -Seneca

Knowing what they want to create provides a foundation for success. In short order, they had Googled a "wedding planning checklist," had made plans to contact the homeowner to secure their location, had made plans to schedule an investigatory trip to their destination, had begun saving and securing a budget, and were well on their way to making this vision a reality.

With a small amount of research, their expectations shifted. They became more realistic, and the young couple walked away with tangible next steps to deliver on their aspirations.

I'm reminded how important it can be to know what we want. What do you want to accomplish this year in your work, relationships, and physical, mental, and emotional well-being? What does each of those areas look like for you?

Have you taken time to reflect? Are your goals posted somewhere you can see and review them daily?

I heard Brendan Buchard say recently that we invest 10 times more of our attention to looking at other people's lives on social media than we do thinking and reviewing what we want to create in our own lives.

If you haven't created that space through a weekly review process or a daily reflection practice, I would like you to begin there.

Once you know the destination, it becomes much more straightforward to begin planning your route.

The Parable of the Talents

We were struck by this young couple's naivety as we progressed through this discussion. They operated on pure emotion and optimism, assuming that everything would unfold for them and that no obstacles would be encountered.

Having circled the sun a few dozen more times than either of them, we quietly choked on our pragmatism.

In a separate conversation, the young man said something like, "We don't need to worry about all of that; tomorrow will worry about itself."

I recognized this as something akin to a Bible verse, so I looked it up and realized he was referring to Matthew 6:25-34, which ends with "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Unbeknownst to him, he had given me a small opening.

With his fiancé in another state, his rent and expenses minimal, and his free time abundant, we encouraged him to leverage this short season to pour into work, even to get a second job if necessary.

He and I discussed how valuable it can be to a young married couple to be secure in their finances.

He shared his disdain for money and the more essential community connections and service desires he hoped to experience, saying he didn't need to worry himself with the burden of work and being the slave of money.

In response, I purchased him a copy of Ramit Smith's book "I'll Teach You to Be Rich" and I delivered it with a reminder of the Parable of the Talents.

If you're not familiar with the Parable of the Talents, it's a story told by Jesus in Matthew 24 about a master who was leaving his house to travel and, before leaving, entrusted his property to his servants with the request that each of them use their abilities (or talents) to account for and expand his property using their unique gifts.

He is in a season of growth. Time, space, health, and minimal expenses all exist in this season. Yet, he's waiting for life to give him a helping hand.

In waiting, he's missed the nuance of that very help.

He has a job and can expand his hours to learn and earn more. He has time to find other ways to expand his earnings and create a foundation of security upon which his budding marriage can rest. For the time being, he has housing with his parents and no rent, college loans, or debt to repay.

His faith that everything would work out and that tomorrow's worries would worry about themselves caused him to overlook God's work in his life now.

Life Often Requires Audibles

Fortunately, I became goal-oriented at an early age. Looking back, I've met or exceeded many of the goals that I set for myself when I was a young man.

At the same time, the how took many unexpected twists and turns.

I never expected to be a divorcee, but that led to the love, support, and partnership I found in my wife and best friend.

I never expected to make a mid-career change, but it led me to an opportunity with an organization that provided the resources I needed to serve clients as I had always hoped.

I never expected to be diagnosed with skin cancer, but it made me mindful of my health and helped me restructure my routines and habits to serve my well-being.

It's critical that this young man and his fiancé have a vision. Hopefully, they are beginning to recognize that achieving that vision may have some unexpected twists and turns.

And, at times, the helping hand they believe will be provided arrives in the form of a push from behind or a firm kick in the ass.

Moving Forward

Where do you lack vision? Where could your goals and aspirations be firmed up and your commitment stronger?

Where are you missing the silent opening of new doors forward because you are so focused on the one door that closed?

Who in your life could you lend a helping hand? Or who in your life is reaching out to offer you a helping hand, but you're too stubborn or blinded to accept it?

Where are you wasting time by focusing energy on your weaknesses instead of doubling down on your God-given talents?

Good luck on your journey. If I can ever be that helping hand, I hope you won't hesitate to ask for my help.

Be well,

Jim